Pregnancy weight

I have recently been asked by multiple people about my experience in gaining pregnancy weight considering my history with weight and body image that I shared in a post called From Darkness To Light.  While I touched on this topic in my post whole again, I like this specific question because it gives me the opportunity to really dig deep and think about how I dealt with these changes from the enlightening perspective of hindsight.

While it was not easy there were things I was able to do before getting pregnant and throughout my pregnancy which made the changes in my body less of a shock to the entire system.  So even though there were moments in which I struggled, I can honestly look back and say it was not very hard nor did I let it ruin even one day of my life giving experience of growing Eden inside my body.  And I gained over 50 pounds!

1. I set my mind.  Before getting pregnant I KNEW I was going to gain weight, I told myself I was going to gain weight, I made a decision that I was going to enjoy the process of gaining weight, and I expected my body to change.  Expectations are powerful, and because I set my mind when my body started to change I was excited because I knew I was right on track to having a healthy baby! I can even confirm in hindsight how powerful expectations are because I was expecting to gain around 30 pounds and the first 30 were great, but it was once I crossed that threshold at month six that I started to struggle for the first time, having to push out my expectations and readjust my expectations to gain more weight than I had initially thought.  

2. I chose to focus on the miracle of life-giving changes in my body rather than the losses.  Growing a baby brings new life and also loss as my body was changing and potentially would never be the same again.  I chose to focus on the LIFE that was coming through my body and the miracle that it was rather than the loss of my body as I knew it.  And every time I was tempted to focus on the losses, I just turned my head to focus on the gift it is to bear life!

3. The desired outcome of labor for every family I know is healthy mom, healthy baby and I wanted to be healthy.  Because I was underweight before getting pregnant due to stress and poor eating habits, I was determined to be a healthy mom so I could have a healthy baby.  I let that desire to guide my eating habits as I had to start eating twice as much if not more in order for baby and I to both get the nutrients we needed.  I already got into mama mode and would eat ANYTHING for the health of my baby, regardless of how I felt about it.

4. I quickly learned to not compare myself with anyone else.  I know friends who have gained 20 pounds during their pregnancies and a few who were in the 50s like me. :)  I know friends who had to get bigger pants at month 2 while some were teeny and cute and comfortable until month 7 or 8.  I know some who struggled to gain weight while others who could not stop gaining.  One thing I learned after Eden was born is not all pregnancy weight gain is fat. I mean obviously there is a baby and the placenta, but there is also FLUID.  After having Eden, I had only lost like 12 pounds which was really discouraging to me as I assumed most of the rest of the weight was fat.  However, I learned that much of my 50 pounds was fluid as I lost over 30 in my first two weeks postpartum.  All of this to say- DO NOT COMPARE.  Nothing good comes from comparing your body with anyone else's.  And as I first time mom I found this especially difficult because I wanted to compare my body to make sure I was on track to have a healthy baby.  But still, comparing did not give me any comfort.

5. I had incredible support.  I am so blessed to have such wonderful accountability in my life.  Most close friends and family know about my history and past struggles with weight, and many took it upon themselves to check in and make sure I was doing ok with the weight gain.  I am thankful that they know me well enough and feel comfortable to speak into my life about a potentially challenging topic.  Amongst those people, I asked a few specifically to check in with me throughout pregnancy and allowed myself to call and process with those few trustworthy souls who could handle my moments of struggle and fear as to what would come next for my body.

6. I prayed and trusted that God created my body to do this, that He was in control, and that this was going to restore my body to health.  And it has been amazing to see my body recover and confirming that God is in control and the body really does know what to do during and after carrying a baby!  It is an absolute miracle!

March 1, 2013

(the day we found out about Eden) 

October 28, 2013

(just days before Eden was born)

January 25, 2014
(about 12 weeks after Eden was born)

Even though my body will not necessarily ever be the same as it was before, I am certainly amazed at its ability to recover.  While I have been intention to exercise in the past 4 weeks, I have started very slowly.  And although I have been eating a very balanced diet in the last 12 weeks, I have no means been "on a diet" since Eden has been born.

This recovery has been and will continue to be natural.  God has made our bodies perfectly to bear life and also to recover.  I would never put these pictures up for anyone to compare their experience with mine as everyone's body is so different, but just to illustrate how miraculously God has created our bodies!  

While my body is certainly not perfect nor fully recovered, I will again reiterate my belief that babies do not ruin bodies but rather make them whole.  And I can honestly say that I am happy with how my body looks considering 12 weeks ago I had Eden!

I hope this helps answer the questions I have received about gaining and now losing some of the pregnancy weight.  It is quite a miraculous adventure and I am blessed to have been able to participate with Christ in the creation of the life of a beautiful little girl!