In hindsight, after 3 years of ongoing changes, some excitingly wonderful while others excruciatingly painful, I find such power in the awareness of the warning and reality of this truth because without the expectation of change and ability to adjust, it can sneak up on us and potentially create extreme disappointment and emotional destruction. My husband and I have navigated significant changes in the realm of housing, jobs, reputation, careers, trust, schedule, support, and churches just to name a few. Being a former control, stability, and schedule freak, I have had to learn how adjust, practice it often, and allow God to use every change in my life to train me in this lifelong lesson of adjusting. While I have not mastered this skill by any means, I look back and see how much progress I have made and celebrate what God has done! And it all began with the simple warning that change is inevitable and the desire to adjust.
So here I am again in another incredibly life changing experience as I walk into a parenting! While I had nine months to prepare for this new life and the changes she brings into our lifestyle, and while these changes are incredibly wonderful and life-giving, these changes also have brought loss. It is important to acknowledge that all change comes with it some form of loss. While I don't have enough time to list the countless gains Eden is bringing to my life, there are also some significant losses that require naming, grief, and releasing as I adjust.
Showering when I want and for however long I want
Sitting down and eating an uninterrupted meal
Spontaneous outings with friends or family
Wearing anything I would like without having to think about the potential of needing to practically undress at a moment's notice to feed
Spontaneous outings with friends or family
Wearing anything I would like without having to think about the potential of needing to practically undress at a moment's notice to feed
Fully engaging in a conversation
Starting a task and finishing it
Control of my time and schedule
Sitting through a whole church service
Quiet car rides
Sleeping for more than three hours at a time
A budget without the "childcare" column
Quickly running into the store to return something or grab one quick item
While I am sure most of these seem insignificant, these tiny changes are forcing me to adjust to a new life of having one ear listening to a friend and the other listening for me baby's breathing and one eye on the task at hand and the other on my precious baby girl. And in order to navigate these changes and the many more we are living at the moment, I have been guided by a practical tip and a spiritual truth.
While I am sure most of these seem insignificant, these tiny changes are forcing me to adjust to a new life of having one ear listening to a friend and the other listening for me baby's breathing and one eye on the task at hand and the other on my precious baby girl. And in order to navigate these changes and the many more we are living at the moment, I have been guided by a practical tip and a spiritual truth.
Practical tip for navigating change: create and honor guidelines
As I adjust to the many changes I mentioned in November's post, I recognize the need to adjust and shift gears in my lifestyle. I often have to have a meeting with myself, a time activating metacognition by thinking about the changes in my life and making decisions to adjust when things feel unnatural and new.
Even though there are so many areas in life in which I am adjusting, I decided to start somewhere by focusing on creating some guidelines for the changes of my daily schedule. I do not want to waste my 14 week maternity leave struggling with the adjustment of pace and unsure as to how to spend my time, but would prefer to enjoy every second I have with my little munchkin while also using this schedule change as an opportunity to grow and allow God to bring about changes in my personality. A common theme that has woven its way in and out of each post this year is my desire to slow down and enjoy my life and I want this life change to help in this process.
While my love-hate relationship with my personality has been an ongoing tug of war as I have wrestled with the reality that my greatest strengths are very much my greatest weaknesses, I have decided to accept myself, enjoy my gifts, continue to let God develop and mature my strengths and develop the character in me I need to operate in those gifts. I am learning that sometimes our gifts can take us places where our character cannot keep us. In light of embracing myself just as I am, a work in process, I have come to appreciate my ability to create and follow guidelines and have identified this skill as a major means of adjusting.
As I adjust to the many changes I mentioned in November's post, I recognize the need to adjust and shift gears in my lifestyle. I often have to have a meeting with myself, a time activating metacognition by thinking about the changes in my life and making decisions to adjust when things feel unnatural and new.
Even though there are so many areas in life in which I am adjusting, I decided to start somewhere by focusing on creating some guidelines for the changes of my daily schedule. I do not want to waste my 14 week maternity leave struggling with the adjustment of pace and unsure as to how to spend my time, but would prefer to enjoy every second I have with my little munchkin while also using this schedule change as an opportunity to grow and allow God to bring about changes in my personality. A common theme that has woven its way in and out of each post this year is my desire to slow down and enjoy my life and I want this life change to help in this process.
While my love-hate relationship with my personality has been an ongoing tug of war as I have wrestled with the reality that my greatest strengths are very much my greatest weaknesses, I have decided to accept myself, enjoy my gifts, continue to let God develop and mature my strengths and develop the character in me I need to operate in those gifts. I am learning that sometimes our gifts can take us places where our character cannot keep us. In light of embracing myself just as I am, a work in process, I have come to appreciate my ability to create and follow guidelines and have identified this skill as a major means of adjusting.
Schedule guidelines (I am only writing them out for the blog, to clarify. They were just in my head and are in the other capacities in life in which I am adjusting)
1. Wake up time - don't get out of bed until 8:00
2. Shower and get ready every day ASAP- during Eden's first morning nap
1. Wake up time - don't get out of bed until 8:00
2. Shower and get ready every day ASAP- during Eden's first morning nap
3. Eating routines- enjoy meals and eat slowly
4. One outing or visitor a day- great time to reconnect and visit people
5. Home by 2:00- two o'clock teaching and relaxing time
6. Slow down and enjoy every moment with Eden
7. ENJOY (not accomplish) any of these if Eden is sleeping: yoga, read, bathe, nap, write
These guidelines are full of major life changes for me as I had previously been spending my time up at 5:00, to work by 6:30, insane business with little time to even use the bathroom all day meeting the needs of 25 first graders, and then home around 4:30 to recover and do it all over the next day. Life at home with Eden has a much slower pace, and while I love that the changes felt very abrupt. I am taking this new pace one day at a time and attempting to slow down. The only way to adhere to such guidelines and shift gears is to activate the powerful fruit of the Holy Spirit, particularly self-control.
For example, when I wake up at 6:03 and am tempted to jump out of bed and start my "to do" list for the day as I have been for the last 5 years of teaching, I take a deep breath, lie back down on the bed, hold or look at my precious daughter and enjoy every little miraculous feature. And I pray for her, kiss her face, smell her delicious newborn scent, and bask in the miracle and wonder of this teeny little girl with whose life I have been entrusted. I stay in that place of prayer, rest, and wonder until 8:00 each and every morning, and such a simple practice and discipline has been a wonderful way for me to start my days with Eden and enjoy her. Each of these guidelines has brought about incredible means of adjusting to this new and temporary season along with maximizing the short amount of time I have with my newborn baby.
I hope to continue learning and growing in developing this habit as adjusting truly is and will be a life long journey; as soon as Eden can crawl and eventually walk that will create tons of need for new adjustments along with potty training, school, adding more children... this is only the beginning!
Powerful truth for navigating change: Hebrews 13:8
Hebrews 8:13 holds a powerful anchor for my soul as I adjust to the variety of changes life brings my way. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." In the middle of life's changes, I stand firm on a Rock that is always the same, always loving, always faithful, and always constant. When everything else feels new and different and exciting and scary and wonderful and vulnerable, I turn to Jesus who never changes.
Habit #12: Adjust
7. ENJOY (not accomplish) any of these if Eden is sleeping: yoga, read, bathe, nap, write
These guidelines are full of major life changes for me as I had previously been spending my time up at 5:00, to work by 6:30, insane business with little time to even use the bathroom all day meeting the needs of 25 first graders, and then home around 4:30 to recover and do it all over the next day. Life at home with Eden has a much slower pace, and while I love that the changes felt very abrupt. I am taking this new pace one day at a time and attempting to slow down. The only way to adhere to such guidelines and shift gears is to activate the powerful fruit of the Holy Spirit, particularly self-control.
For example, when I wake up at 6:03 and am tempted to jump out of bed and start my "to do" list for the day as I have been for the last 5 years of teaching, I take a deep breath, lie back down on the bed, hold or look at my precious daughter and enjoy every little miraculous feature. And I pray for her, kiss her face, smell her delicious newborn scent, and bask in the miracle and wonder of this teeny little girl with whose life I have been entrusted. I stay in that place of prayer, rest, and wonder until 8:00 each and every morning, and such a simple practice and discipline has been a wonderful way for me to start my days with Eden and enjoy her. Each of these guidelines has brought about incredible means of adjusting to this new and temporary season along with maximizing the short amount of time I have with my newborn baby.
I hope to continue learning and growing in developing this habit as adjusting truly is and will be a life long journey; as soon as Eden can crawl and eventually walk that will create tons of need for new adjustments along with potty training, school, adding more children... this is only the beginning!
Powerful truth for navigating change: Hebrews 13:8
Hebrews 8:13 holds a powerful anchor for my soul as I adjust to the variety of changes life brings my way. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." In the middle of life's changes, I stand firm on a Rock that is always the same, always loving, always faithful, and always constant. When everything else feels new and different and exciting and scary and wonderful and vulnerable, I turn to Jesus who never changes.
Eden weeks 5-8
Habit #12: Adjust
