healthy family

After my upside down thought that it is not selfish to take time for yourself, I realized that is ONLY true if you are also mindful of the needs of others in your life.  I realized that I was unintentionally expecting my husband to be with Eden during much of our family time so I could go work out or take a nap or blog without asking him what he needed.

The Bible is the source of truth and the guide map for my life, and Philippians 2:3-4 instructs that we "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."

While I am not willing to comprise what I need nor back down on my recent pursuit of caring for my self, I am also aware that I need to consider what my husband needs as well.  So after this revelation we had a family meeting.

(Yes, Eden was there but she didn't contribute too much.  Someday.) 

This meeting consisted of my husband and I both sharing different priorities to our health now that we are more aware of what life is like with a little one.  I have learned that nothing happens if we are not intentional.  Time just keeps ticking away and because my goal for this entire year is to bear healthy fruit I realized we need to do some intentional planning.  To not plan would be like wanting to grow a garden but never sitting down to plan nor shop for the seed.  

Here are the minutes from our meeting! 

In order to be healthy during this season, my husband needs: 

1. 15 minutes in the morning to read and set his mind

2. 15 minutes after work to exercise MWF

3. Occasional weekends or days away to rejuvenate in the north woods (we set some dates) 

4. A couple of hours on Monday nights for homework

As I learn to value my body, I need: 

1. 20 minutes in the evening to unwind- alone

2. Exercise 3 times a week 

3. Quality time with Chris 

4. Time to write so I can post once a week

We are making arrangments to accomodate to each other's needs so we can be a healthy family.  

We also came up with 3 new family systems which can maintain our family health during this chaotic transition into this season of life as working parents.

1. Happy Hour. EVERY DAY from 5:00-6:00 will be happy hour at our home. NO, not with cocktails, but a time in which no one is working so we can all enjoy each other.  No laundry, cleaning, dishes, phones, or work.  Just happy play time.

2. Date Nights.  Ok so we have not worked out the details of this yet as now date nights require child care, but we are DETERMINED to at least once a month get out for a night together.  More details to come on this one, but I will be the first to admit that I have let my precious little peanut consume me.  I know this isn't healthy, but I'll take some newborn grace as I have made the initial adjustments to motherhood.  However, my baby is not a newborn anymore and it is time for me to look up and step back into my position as a wife which includes spending time with my amazing husband.  Marriage is an incredible gift and ministry and more than ever I realize how continual growth as a couple is essential for our holistic health.

3. Wednesday Night Worship. In order to keep Christ as the center of our family in the midst of adjusting to adding a new member, we decided that we need to have a time once a week in which we can connect spiritually as a family. My husband and I find such connection to Jesus through worship, and we want to set the family habit of worshipping and learning about Jesus together. So each Wednesday night we are going to worship and study- whether it is a book we read or podcast we listen to or particular topic we study in the Bible.

We desire health, not just for ourselves, but for the fruit and glory it brings to our heavenly Father.
John 15:8 has become somewhat of a family mantra in our home: When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples.  This brings great glory to my Father.