On Saturday, March 2nd we woke up at 4:00AM as curious as ever. To spare the details of waiting for 2 of the longest minutes of our lives, sure enough: blue +. We were absolutely speechless. So speechless that all we could do is laugh. We could not believe it. All that came to mind was a promise I remember receiving months ago in which I believe God said, “I will show you a love that will leave you speechless.” The love and mercy and grace of such a gift of a NEW LIFE completely solidifies everything we have been praying and asking for since my husband’s jail homecoming. It solidifies the white as snow verse we have been praying for now weeks. It was as if that very day when we found out about our little miracle, we got to climb into a cannon and shoot so far from the past and enter an entire new land in which everything was fresh and unfamiliarly wonderful. No more “probation officer” and “felony” talk was going to consume our lives. We had new things to discuss and anticipate. And it completely brought life to our belief that we didn’t even smell like smoke so shortly after such a painful walk through the fire.
As soon as we saw the positive pregnancy test, our speechlessness was only converted into words through a seemingly insufficient THANK YOU to our Creator. My husband had been out of jail for six weeks now and we were later confirmed to be officially six weeks pregnant. We never could have dreamed our child would have been created so soon after such a painful season, and we are overwhelmed with thankfulness.
We have nothing else to say.
To ensure that our thankfulness would not be a quickly passing reaction, before jumping into the sheer thrill and excitement of such joy and before getting swept away in planning, we set aside the first month to relish in thankfulness and awe of a God for whom nothing is impossible, who makes all things new, and who gives good gifts to His children.
The bible shares a story about going back to say thank you which put words to our month of intentional thankfulness. Luke 17:11-19 shares:
Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us.” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him- and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.
This story recounts that only one leper came back to say thank you. While there are incredible lessons of faith within this story, what hit me is the reality that it can be so tempting to treat God like some gumball machine, accessing His amazing and miraculous power only when we have a need or want, and then running away with our prized possession as soon as it is in our hands. We did not want to so quickly forget our Creator who gave us this life simply because of our emotional excitement. So we were extremely intentional to spend the entire month relishing in His amazingness. Before looking at any cribs or talking about any names or buying any baby clothes or moving anything in the baby’s room or telling most family and friends, we entered a place of awe and thankfulness. We do not want to EVER forget our God, the Source of life for now all three of us.
I feel as if I have been wandering in a desert for the last 17 months, and the news of life growing inside of me is like finding a well of water. I will never stop praising and thanking Christ for this child’s life and all that it represents.
Through this baby, God is
During this month of thankfulness and through the miracle of such great news, I saw my husband transform. I saw the labels that had been placed on him of “felon” and “unemployed” and “failure” erase, only to be replaced with a new role and new purpose. Words like “protector” and “provider” and “dad” were suddenly restoring the twinkle to his eye. God is a good God. And not just when He answers our petty prayers. He is always good, and we have been declaring His goodness for the last 15 months. He gives and takes away. And we are now entering a season in which we get to receive His good gifts. He is a loving Father and He gives good gifts to His children. (Matthew 11:17)
And He is the lifter of our heads. (Psalm 3:3) I saw my husband LOOK UP. After internally looking down in shame for a year, I saw his spirits rise and I saw him look up. He still does not have a job and is asking for work that can position him to provide for our family again. But we know it will come. I was actually getting impatient and a bit concerned about his lack of work UNTIL we found out that we were going to have a baby. I know God’s word says that He meets every need, and our financial needs just increased in a HUGE way, so for me this means that God will provide a well paying job very very soon.
It was through the process of sharing with a friend about our precious miracle that I was enlightened to the title of this blog as, “a new book.” When rejoicing about this new life, someone mentioned, “It is like a whole new chapter for you guys” to which I completely agreed. But then my friend chimed in, “It is really like a whole new book.”
And it really is. And we are thankful. We run back to say thank you.
As soon as we saw the positive pregnancy test, our speechlessness was only converted into words through a seemingly insufficient THANK YOU to our Creator. My husband had been out of jail for six weeks now and we were later confirmed to be officially six weeks pregnant. We never could have dreamed our child would have been created so soon after such a painful season, and we are overwhelmed with thankfulness.
We have nothing else to say.
To ensure that our thankfulness would not be a quickly passing reaction, before jumping into the sheer thrill and excitement of such joy and before getting swept away in planning, we set aside the first month to relish in thankfulness and awe of a God for whom nothing is impossible, who makes all things new, and who gives good gifts to His children.
The bible shares a story about going back to say thank you which put words to our month of intentional thankfulness. Luke 17:11-19 shares:
This story recounts that only one leper came back to say thank you. While there are incredible lessons of faith within this story, what hit me is the reality that it can be so tempting to treat God like some gumball machine, accessing His amazing and miraculous power only when we have a need or want, and then running away with our prized possession as soon as it is in our hands. We did not want to so quickly forget our Creator who gave us this life simply because of our emotional excitement. So we were extremely intentional to spend the entire month relishing in His amazingness. Before looking at any cribs or talking about any names or buying any baby clothes or moving anything in the baby’s room or telling most family and friends, we entered a place of awe and thankfulness. We do not want to EVER forget our God, the Source of life for now all three of us.
I feel as if I have been wandering in a desert for the last 17 months, and the news of life growing inside of me is like finding a well of water. I will never stop praising and thanking Christ for this child’s life and all that it represents.
Through this baby, God is
bringing life after death
breathing life into us
lifting our heads
But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. Psalm 3:3
turning ashes into beauty
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair. Isaiah 61:3
restoring health
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, good news makes for good health. Proverbs 15:30
giving us a good gift
If you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask! Matthew 11:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17
giving us a second chance
The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time. Jonah 3:1
giving us a good thing
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11
giving us the desire of our heart
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
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